It was a September evening, like any other, the sun was patrolling the sky and an Indian summer of sorts was being enjoyed by all!
I sat down at the kitchen table in my friends house with two of my closest friends and we began to chat. I had just returned from a trip away and I was in jovial but tired form. I was aware one of my friends had been visiting the doctor with a problem he was experiencing but while I was away he reassured me everything was just fine, routine problem.
I was eager to know what exactly was wrong with him upon my return and have all the news relayed to me anyway just to make sure he was ok (and that he was fit for a pint or two that evening probably) and I approached the subject. In no uncertain terms my close friend informed me of the inevitable diagnosis. He had cancer. Speechless. I immediately reacted as much for his sake as for mine with a defence mechanism, I used humour. "Aw sure youll be going bald quicker than you expected now" was my retort, knowing my good friend took pride in the fine jet black, spiky hair adorning the top of his cranium. And no doubt he did become bald quicker than expected but with the ultimate dignity.
I absorbed the shocking and mind baffling information while trying to keep myself from breaking down. I was screaming and sick, inside. I returned to my humble abode that evening and had a quiet whimper/sob to myself. However, in the face of things I was positive. I knew my friend had the strength and courage to beat this but he would need all the support possible.
Fast forwarding to today he has gone beyond a display of courage and strength and played an amazing 16 holes, theres two more to go my friend hang in there! As far as I can see this man has stared the beast that is cancer in the face and spat back at him and informed that particular beast that he can, in no polite terms, return from whence he came! Right from that day in September when he was diagnosed his attitude has been one of inspiration. However at this juncture, perhaps the real story of inspiration comes from those closest to him. Words cannot describe the admiration I have for his parents and sibling and his adoring girlfriend who have been there every step of the way. They have been his rock.
He began his course of chemotherapy several weeks after diagnosis and no doubt this was a shock to his system. He had lost an enormous amount of weight at this stage and I was tempted to sneak a steak or McDonalds or seven into him in his hospital bed. Alas, I formed the opinion this may not be such a good idea. The effects of the chemo began to take form. He had become weak and thin beyond recognition. At this stage, and I hope he does not mind me saying this, I was heartbroken. The man I knew and looked up to was but a shadow of his former self but at the same time staring adversity in the face. He was displaying characteristics you or I may never see in ourselves in our lifetime.
Weeks passed,as did chemo sessions. It's a tough business, cancer is. Hard to get ahead. However in true entrepreneurial and business like manner that this man is so accustomed to(Smurfit and taxis know all about him, you definitely made a profit on taxis!!) he was one step ahead of his opponent and still is. Times were tough, especially Christmas where the customary pint and hug and banter with your nearest and dearest lacked a certain presence due to the absence of one enormous personality. This personality has shone through in every way in his presence consistently and not one day have I been allowed a slip up in his presence no matter how sick youve been!!!
Days, weeks and months passed. Bald now. Unrecognisable to some. Could never be to us. I still hadnt heard a word of complaint and still havent. I consider myself the biggest moaner alive now when im around my brother!!! Another battle was on our dear friends hands at this time. Our fine political system, functioning like never before, are disgusting. In the face of every revelation and resignation nothing the government does now to reconcile the ordinary people of Ireland could justify their inclusion in future governments. The social services have a lot to answer for also. Think of your nearest and dearest suffering from a serious ailment. They seek benefits to help them financially. They expect benefits. They find it hard to function in every day life, never mind working. They are told they should be working, no benefits for you, no siree. Now, what would you do? This was the scenario facing this particular person.
Soldiering on, chemo session after chemo session he has taken everything in his stride. Nothing is getting in his way. This may seem menial to you or anybody else but there was one action on my friends part that has made me extremely proud of him. Apart from the inspiring attitude, the strength, the courage, the pride I have in him there was one thing that reassured me that everything is going to be ok. He was applying for graduate positions next September and I have no doubt he will occupy one. Drive and ambition are the name of the game for this man. Every time I ask him what the next step is he replies "oh I dont know well see", vague city has a new resident. However, it becomes apparent to me that this man is waking up every day with a glint in his eye and a fresh approach. Maybe making plans has been the key to his attitude.
With the gaunt appearance gone, meat back on his bones (could be a bit too much now my friend you might need to get into the gym soon, lay off them burgers, take a tip or two from a man who knows) and hair reappearing it is evident he is one step ahead, he is cruising in on the 16th hole 2 up and a putt for eagle. He is conquering all around him.
I have so much more to say and perhaps I could have worded this better. I sat down with just you in mind. Right now you are in a hospital bed itching to get home and see your loved ones. I wish I could spend every night with you there just to keep you company. Radiotherapy awaits but its no match for you. You are on top of this. You are an inspiration to us all and im sure I can say that on behalf of everybody. A braver, more courageous and inspirational person I have never met. We are proud of you.
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